Cheezburger Confidential: Happycat

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Cheezburger Confidential: Happycat
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Happycat wanders the earth with no particular destination in mind. His only wish is to spread the happiness he feels to others. To bring bits of joy to those who may need it. He asks for nothing in return, except maybe the occasional cheeseburger. He loves his cheeseburgers.

The Typical Feline Brain

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The Typical Feline Brain
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So why is he so happy? What is it that makes him feel joy every second of his life? Scientists at the Cat Institute of Brains were equally curious about this constant contentedness that Happycat seems to always display. After analyzing and comparing Happycat's brain to a normal cat's brain, the reason was clear. Happycat has an astoundingly large happiness gland. So large that all of the other parts of his brain have to be tiny in order to fit in his head.

Happycat's Brain

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Happycat's Brain
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As you can see, the part of the brain left for thinking is quite diminutive. I'm not saying he should ride on a bus shorter than other buses, but... I will admit he is no rocket scientist. Cat mathematics are a challenge for him. Spelling has always given him trouble. He claims he understands the plot of Lost, but I have my doubts.

How Me a Happycat Learned Doors

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How Me a Happycat Learned Doors
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And the finer points of opening doors do escape him from time to time.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

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Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
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He was on Celebrity Jeopardy once. Believe it or not, he made it to Final Jeopardy, but things went south from there.

Can Happycat Get Sad?

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Can Happycat Get Sad?
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Many people wonder if Happycat can ever get sad. It is a very rare occurrence. In fact, there is only one time that Happycat completely lost his happy. It started out as a typical day. He stopped by his favorite burger place to fill up on cheeseburgers.

A Dark Turn

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A Dark Turn View Fullscreen
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He became completely unhinged at that moment. He saw only red and became enraged. Somehow his happiness gland turned into some sort of mega-fury gland. It's hard to explain what happened next.

The National Guard's Emergency Cheeseburger Department was called in to bring Happycat several hundred burgers in order to resolve the incident peacefully. Happycat's head decreased in size and returned to his body. He was once again happy and all was right. After some more study, scientists discovered that the proteins found in beef and cheese stimulated that happiness gland. If he goes too long without them, it can severely disrupt his brain chemistry.